I feel like my family is playing this game. My uncle Jerry has Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. In a nut shell, ALS disables you by wasting away a nerve cell called motor neurons of the brain and spinal column. It basically takes away your ability to control muscle movement a little at a time.
When you get diagnosed with this disease, you are pretty much given a time limit. My uncle was initially given five years. That was three years ago. It has progressed viciously in two years and last night my mom told me that he had lost all his upper body strength, was now bed ridden, and he put himself on DNR. Do Not Resuscitate. So, the next time he has a problem breathing or anything happens with him, it's over.
It's strange. I know he is going to pass away soon. I've known for a couple years what he has would end his life. I knew that his time was limited. But your never really ready for someone whose been there your whole life to go. I can't imagine what my cousins must feel. We're super close, but the topic of their dad never comes up. It's too hard to talk about. My oldest cousin Tom lives in Italy because he is stationed there and there is talk about bringing him, his wife and there two kids home.
I don't know. I'm afraid this will all go down as soon as I leave for Florida. My mom said not to worry, that he'd rather have me there than here being sad about him. As true as that is, I couldn't leave my family. I couldn't leave my cousins.
I'm scared. I don't know what I'd do 3,000 miles away. I almost feel selfish. Selfish because I want this whole thing to wait until I'm back. Selfish because I want to go when I know I should stay. The trip was planned before all this happened.
I hope I get a sign from somewhere that points me in the right direction.
1 comment:
Proceed with normal life. That's what I'd want for you, if I were in your uncle's position.
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